Just Chatting

Bobby Brown What A Mess

2005-12-24T20:11:00.000-05:00

Full Name: Robert Barisford Brown

Nicknames: Bobby, Brown Bomber, Flash

Birthdate: February 5, 1969

Astro Sign: Aquarius

Birthplace: Roxbury, Mass. Fav.

Foods: All kinds

Fav. Entertainer: Rick James

Other facts: Married to Whitney Houston since July 18, 1992

As a child, Bobby enjoyed hip-hop and rap music and buying clothes. Some people he admired were Grandmaster Flash and Rick James, and he is also a big Elvis fan. Bobby has also always been interested in boxing, and he even got accepted to the Golden Gloves when he was eleven.
But guess what Bobby loves the most is drugs and getting in trouble with the law.

He was at Crobar on Dec 22nd for the Wendy Williams Don's and Diva party and here is:

Getting himself together for a pic (1)

Getting himself together for a pic (2)

Grand Finale

Mars2112

2005-12-12T20:13:00.000-05:00

So obviously I have been quite the party machine. I think its time to slow down. Who would have known that spending 2 years and 8 months in school would make me loose all control after graduation.

I can honestly say I had a good time…no hassles just plain old fun. It left me tired though, I slept all day Sunday L

Next round Adina’s birthday party and then mine in January.

A Prayer for Safety

2005-12-04T14:20:00.000-05:00

This is my baby cousin Jason…..only 22.

He recently sent me these pictures of himself...looking very grown up. I think of him constantly because of the madness that is occurring in the Middle East each and every day. I am asking my blog readers to please say a prayer for him and for the thousands of men and women risking their lives.

Psalm 43

"Judge me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation:
O deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man.
{2} For thou art the God of my strength:
why dost thou cast me off?
why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

{3} O send out thy light and thy truth:
let them lead me;
let them bring me unto thy holy hill, and to thy tabernacles.

{4} Then will I go unto the altar of God,
unto God my exceeding joy:
yea, upon the harp will I praise thee, O God my God.

{5} Why art thou cast down,
O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?
hope in God: for I shall yet praise him,
who is the health of my countenance, and my God."

Thanks Giving Day

2005-11-26T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well this year I cannot say that Thanks Giving Day was an eventful one. I spent most of it packing my stuff to hopefully move in a few weeks. Being totally frustrated with the entire thing I decided to attend Neo Fam's Thanks Giving Day 90' party at the Supper Club. Of course it was good but I did not have the desire to 90's style :(

Strands Grand Opening

2005-11-20T23:33:00.000-05:00

Today was a very long day for me. My hot behind decided that I was going to hang out at the BLVD with Mayvelyn last night knowing fully well that my cousin needed me to be at her shop by 7Am. The salon she works for had their grand opening today. It’s called "Strands”, an all around beauty salon and spa: hair, make up, manicures, pedicures, massages, eyebrows etc...the normal beauty stuff. You guys should check it out: 2077 Grand Ave, Baldwin NY. Ask for Donna :)

With one hour sleep I managed to be at the show all day getting ready to show off my hair. It’s called the “Curly Mohawk”. A hair show was part of the grand opening.

My cousin - The Hair Stylist

Who Am I?

2005-11-14T15:05:00.000-05:00

What makes me weak? My fears
What makes me whole? My God
What keeps me standing? My faith
What makes me compassionate? My selflessness
What makes me honest? My integrity
What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge
What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes
What lift's my head high? My pride
What if I can't go on? Not an option
What makes me victorious? My courage to climb
What makes me competent? My confidence
What makes me sensual? My insatiable essence
What makes me beautiful? My everything
What makes me a woman? My heart
Who says I need love? I do
What empowers me? My God & Me

Who am I? I AM AN AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN!

Its Been Age's

2005-11-07T14:43:00.000-05:00

So it’s been ages since I last posted anything on my blog. Shit I had taken quite an interest in adding my thoughts ever so often but now I just read DJ Diva's since I basically don't even have enough to time to sleep. She even showed my ass up by getting a Radio Blog......

well what have I been doing with my self? Organizing my thoughts after I had some throw back with my ex and got caught up a little with what we were doing on the low. I hate to admit it but I think the sex was better after we broke up....lol I think I started falling for him again. I mean I knew it wouldn’t work....well I know neither one of us was ever going to give it 100% again but I guess when you are not over someone...throw back can be dangerous.

I was down and out for a while when I found that this man had a child and never said a word while him I was still together. Shit I was devastated. I loved the dirt that man walked on. He was my world until so many other things made my world fall :(. Anyway I am better now, not thinking about that everyday because we broke up and not even thinking about getting back together. The sad thing is when I think of all the drama I experienced in 5 and half years I can’t figure out why I still love this man. Shit!!!! I know some of yall out there can relate. There is always one person in your live that you are going to be "in stupid" for. I mean you are in stupid when you stay when a man cheats on you all the time. But I was not the first nor am I going to be the last woman on hurt that ever got done dirty by a man. But believe God sees and knows all…..

After all this went down and I spent my time mourning :( but by the graces of God I pulled through it. Now I am chilling, focusing on trying to get my butt in Grad school, settling into a job I like and enjoying life.

I have been trying the dating thing but I seem to meet frogs. The person I would consider settling for moved and I would have to give up my life here in NYC if I really wanted it to work out. Now that is a big adjustment...so for now I am going to chill. I am planning on taking a weekend trip soon though hopefully it will bring some good things.

Look To This Day

2005-09-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

Now since I have started this new job my blogging, not to mention my blog surfing has been drastically reduced. I cannot exactly spend my first week on the job surfing the net and playing right? Any way I thought I would post a poem often read to us while I was living back home in Trini. I only came across it again through a friend.

Look To This Day

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
For in its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your entire existence

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision
But today well lived
Makes yesterday a dream of happiness
And tomorrow a vision of hope

So look well therefore to this day

Author Unknown

My Life Since I Last Posted

2005-09-06T18:53:00.000-04:00

So its been a while since I posted anything on my blog.........I just had so much going on these pass couple of days. I must say that I feel truly blessed that one door closed and other opened for me by the grace of the almight. The best thing about being blessed is know when you are....and I am blessed.

I started my new job today working as an Office Manager again for a software development company. So far everything looks on the up and up but it's only the first day so we will see what happens next. But I must I will we working with a bunch of people that will have me laughing till tears come to my eyes. The best thing about the job so far....I get to use my IM.......worst thing so far only a 1/2 lunch :(

So lets run down what happened since I last I posted.

The last weekend in August I took my little cousins to Sunken Meadow Park for a day. All summer I been promising them a day at the beach and I finally did it. Of course I was the talk of the day because my entire church went and I happen to be the only one to arrive in a belly shirt and a short skirt with a two piece bathing suit underneath. So they didnt like it........why my church have older people. Did I care hell naw.........shit I looked good :)

After that I met up with DJ DIVA finally............. we checked out one of my old classmates birthday party for a bit and split. Now of course my hot behind when to the remote lounge to hang with a few other friends.

Remote 8/27/05
Shout out to my girl Talya who was doing her thing in the 50 Cent Video

Moving right along I went to Flow (their after Thursday's is off the hook....hosted by Steel Magnum and Event Mode) on Sept 1st to celebrate my new job and of course start my Labor Day festivities early. Well there was DRAMA.......DJ Diva sure nuff took over the dance floor with my brother. Boy were they showing everyone what they can do....Yall missed a hell of a show. All I can say is my homie sure as hell know how to party :)

My best Friend and I at Flow.
With entrance being free before 7 and $5.00 drink specials all night I sweated out my hair after it took a good hour just to get the roots straight.

The Diva and I.
Other than my best friend and my cousin DJ is one of the selected few that I can call a friend.
I don't have too many others...the selected few know who they are:)
Shit I don't know how she puts up with my bitchin about shit when she told my ass not to do it in the first place.....lol
I am leaving the posting of Diva's dance pics up to her to post :)

Next comes Sept 2nd...I took my behind to Great Adventure...it was cool but I think I grew out of the excitement. So moving right along......

If you don't already know....I am Trini so there is no way in hell I was not going to at least attend one party for labor day weekend. Saturday night I sure was up in NeoFam's "Dolla Wine "party. And IT WAS GOOD!!!!!

On my way to "The City" Saturday night to wave my flag and represent Trinidad with my "Dolla Wine"....lol

Now comes the finale............. The Drama on Eastern Parkway. For some Reason I cannot find my camera to download the pictures I took. But Talk Of New York has a few. All in all I had a great past couple of days.

Friends with Benefits or Just Plain and Simple Fuck Friends

2005-08-26T11:20:00.000-04:00

Recently a few of my homies and I have been discussing the issues of friends with benefits. This seems to be a common thing happening among single men and women today. So many have been hurt and choose to breathe rather than commit again but occasionally need the comfort of someone else's touch. Yawl know you have done it, this is just not a little issue anymore it’s become a huge. Well I don't think it was ever small.....just little bit more discrete.

See a friend of mine decided to sleep with one of her closest male friends....yeah so what he had a girl. To her that was not her problem just his. She just needed to get her rocks off ever so often. And it was safe with him, why.....no attachments. He already had a girl, she could be herself, didn't have to do any of the requirements his girl had to do. All they had to do was keep there once a week "work out sessions".

Well of course in our discussions we had our objections because what if some bitch we thought was just his friend was sleeping with our men. But in her head she said "what the hell....he use to be mine and since I had him first I can fuck him when I want". So many women today have this attitude. I mean think about do you really think all his female friends are platonic? Whether you have met her or not she could be sleeping with your man right under your nose. It's sad....but is also true. I know this first hand because someone I thought was just a friend was sleeping with my man….but let’s not get me involved.

So even though this can be good for a while it also causes some dangers. Once you cross the line it’s extremely difficult to uncross it. Not to mention someone can get attached. Don't think it’s only going to be the woman. Your man can get attached to his once a week fuck session with his friend. Don't forget she is going to be a little freak and live out her fantasies why? Why not?

There are so many more potential dangers? But I leave that up to yawl to comment on...lol

Ethiopia

2005-08-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

So my boss decided to take a 3 week vacation to Ethiopia. Now I am a person that love to travel but never once thought of Ethiopia as place that I wanted to visit. Now that I have seen some of the pictures I would love to go. So as long as I have cash and the vacation time..."its on like boil corn".....one of my many Trini sayings of course:) There is just so much history and culture to experience first hand. Here a few pictures that I thought I would share with you guys.

A Hut that they live in

Posing for a picture

coming back from getting water

Making flour

Relaxing

Side Pose

True culture right?

My Cousin Jason Came to Visit

2005-08-14T20:54:00.000-04:00

So I had not seen my cousin Jason in over a year since he joined the military. He came back home for a few days because he is leaving to go to Iran. I am not too happy with that but I believe that my Lord and Savior will keep him safe.

Jason and I taken 8/13/05

Jason and my mom 8/13/05

So these pictures were taken infront of my house while just hanging out and catching up.

My First Fashion Show

2005-08-14T11:58:00.000-04:00

MY FIRST FASHION SHOW
NUBIAN HERITAGE BASH
8/12/2005

So I was nervous as hell for the entire day of the show. I literally felt like I was going to pass out just from nerves alone but I made it. I only modeled three outfits unlike the other models because I was too paranoid to wear a bathing suit etc. Anyway because my photographer who is forever late missed most of the show, I can only post my evening wear :(
I am very happy that I got at least some pictures :)

For those of you that came out and supported me on my first event ......THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt invite too much people just in case I made a fool of myself....lol
A special thanks to my cousin Donna for hooking me up with the DIVA look. My Mohawk was very cute.........she can really do her thing when it comes to hair. I don't know what I am going to do when I leave the state :(

The products I am representing :)

My Picture Posted in the store

Had to get a bootie shot...lol

My supporters

E and her Husband came to support

GHETTO MESS.....why?

2005-08-11T13:44:00.000-04:00

GHETTO MESS

ok so I said my next entry was going to be about my first modeling event but I could not help myself. All I have to ask is why?

Even if you wash your weave....does everyone have to know?

Are things that bad?
Using a shopping cart as a grill is ridiculous.

Super Man? I think not....

Carl Thomas Hitting Rock Bottom
(click on link)

Marital Bliss

2005-08-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

Marital Bliss

So this month one of my really good friends got married to her high school sweet heart. I am so happy for them...I believe that marriage is a blessing. I also believe that God intended for us to be paired off in life.....everyone needs a companion. I mean think about all the animals that have been placed on earth, they are all male and a female. We have male and female fishes, elephants, monkeys etc. Lets not forget us humans :).

As much as we women or men say "I don’t need anyone else to make us happy", realistically speaking we do. Everyone needs someone and the last thing we want to do is die old and lonely.....lol Marriage is great when two people find something extra ordinary in each other that they are willing to make that commitment stay together forever. For some us we go through so much pain and confusion before we meet the one God has intended for us, while others get it right the first time. I myself have been through some drama, but I since my friend E made sure that I got her bouquet....I guess I am next. But we'll see, for right now I am just enjoying being single and loving me again.

Here are some pics:
The happy bride with me

After I got the bouquet

This Day I Married My Best Friend
Author Unknown
This day I married my best friend
...the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.
...the one I live for because the world seems brighter
as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.
...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.
We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.

May God continue to bless them and keep there smiles forever this bright.

-----------------------------------------------
Stay tuned.... my next entry will be what happened at my first modeling event. Please pray that I dont run of the stage due to fright :(

Sex In Public Places

2005-08-10T08:44:00.000-04:00

Sex In Public Places

This morning I was speaking with my Homie Andrea and she reminded me of the mess that occurred early Saturday monring of July 30th, while on my way back from E's birthday party. Oh My gooooodness as Sha-Nae-Nae of the now off the air comedy show Martin use to say....lol

So we are all in the car heading back to Queens: Andrea, her friend, Omar and myself just talking...why did we see two males having sex at the park at bowery & delancy street. Why, oh why would you be so bold to participate in that behavior in front of every one walking by? I mean if you want to get freaky (nothing wrong with that).......please go further into the middle of the park and try and get a bit more privacy. I mean the last thing I needed to see that night was two males at the height of their orgasm.

Now there is article that I stumbled across that states fantasies about having sex in public is common. Now I myself cannot say that I have not thought about it I mean who hasn’t, but I have always been careful about where I thought about exposing myself. I mean sure my ex and I have gotten crazy one or twice, but we always careful about when, where and the level or privacy we would have. I mean the last thing we need was to be arrested for public sex.......just thinking of those times reminds me of how many nights we steamed up that Malibu....but anyway we are getting of the topic.

I am not against public sex; I am against this particular event that happened in plain view for everyone to see. (1) because it was too public and (2) because I had never in my life seen to males participate in sex…..It was not pretty.

Anyway, the article I read also states that Norwegians are most likely to have sex in public places than any other nationality. Now that was a piece of news that I had no clue about. Australians came in second place and the Greeks third. Now I would have pictured the Greeks being number one...but I guess not. Americans came in second to last at 21% and Canadians last at 15%.

This article also list the motivations for having public sex to be: Space, Urgency, Bragging Rights, Legend, Variety and just plain old Being Naughty. Cars is the number choice for public sex with tearooms (public men's rooms), beaches, parks, "lover's lanes," and patios or balconies outside of apartment buildings making up the rest.

Any thoughts on the subject?

Ghetto Madness/Mess at Flow

2005-08-03T15:58:00.000-04:00

Ghetto Madness/Mess at Flow
7/28/05

As you guys know, I dont attend Flow on Thursday nights for various reasons. Maybe when the mood strikes I will visit ever so often but we will see. There is suppose to be a post birthday celebration there tomorrow....that up in the air for me right now. However, from time to time I do check out the pictures that are usually posted on www.7days7nights.com or www.alltheparties.com. Well I guess I missed a hell of an event on July 28th. Due what I found on www.talkofnewyork.com, I find it necessary to blog the following pictures:

I think this picture is a bit much......home girl came through ready to party but her wig kept falling off

Then she got sooooooooo drunk she passed out

Come on ladies we have to do better than this. I am not trying to put the sister down, but dont drink if you cant handle your own. This is just giving men another reason to discuss women on the whole.

Harlem Beauty Fashion Show Invite

2005-08-03T15:55:00.000-04:00

Harlem Beauty Fashion Show Invite

Hello Everyone,

I hope to see you guys at my event. For those of you that cant make it, hopefully I will have pictures to post.

Wanting!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

Wanting

So Diva wrote this poem and I felt it necessary to blog it cause its good. Like I told her this morning I need some inspiration to get back into my poetry writing phase but we'll see.....

Wanting

People say they know what they want.
But do they really know what they need?
There must be a distinction in love.
The being that will become you and I,
shining, blending, swaying, and soft,
will take on a brilliance that’s hard

to take. Is it really that hard?
To know what it is you want
whispered in your ear so soft
My lips pressed hard, in need
of the melodies sung in darkness and I,
dancing lightly on the idea of love,

Breathe the sweet nectar of my love
Into your ear. Your heart beats hard,
your eyes glaze and I
combine with what I want.
Or should I say need?
The crystal vision once held, becomes soft.

Touching you inside where it’s soft,
exploring all of the possibilities of love,
my prior requirements I no longer need.
Melding with you has made my hard
heart flutter with want
and the promise of you and I.

This was not expected by I
or you. The gazes held so soft
across a crowded room showed the want
in our eyes. Could it be love?
No, that would be too hard.
And besides, it’s not what I need.

Or is it exactly what I need?
Fate has tossed you and I
together and I can no longer be hard.
I have to acknowledge the soft
side that needs love.
This is what I want.

It can be hard to admit what you need.
I can easier say what I want.
But it all comes back to soft love.

Are Orgasms Genetic?

2005-07-28T10:59:00.000-04:00

Are Orgasms Genetic?

This morning, rather than get started on my daily task I decided to check my emails. In there was an email from Ivillage.com. I figured what the hell, why not browse the site for a while. During my browse I came accross and article: Are Orgasms Genetic? Apparently research has been done stating that Orgasms can be genetic.

***

Are Orgasms Genetic?

Don't thank your mom quite yet

by Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Let me begin by saying that I have great respect for anyone who seriously explores human sexuality. Without Alfred Kinsey, Masters & Johnson, Helen Singer Kaplan ‑- the woman who trained me ‑- and all the others, we sex therapists wouldn't have the scientific information we need to help people have satisfying sex lives. But just because a research study is done, that doesn't always mean its results should be shouted from the rooftops. While sometimes they're merely unhelpful to the average person, in other cases the effects of releasing a report could be altogether harmful.

Two research teams, one that studied Australian twins and one that studied British twins, just released results stating that the level of difficulty a woman has reaching orgasm is genetic. I'm not a scientist, and I haven't seen the details of this report, so I'll assume that what these scientists discovered ‑- that inherited factors determine why some women have an easier time having orgasms while others have more difficulty ‑- is true. But why does it have to be international news? When the average woman reads about this report, will she think, No wonder I have so much trouble reaching orgasm! It's because of my genes and out of my control and give up? Or worse, will her partner read about it and decide there's no point in continuing to try to give her an orgasm because she must not be genetically capable?

Now, granted, the scientists who conducted this study admit that genes aren't the only factor. Apparently, while genes may make it easier or more difficult for a woman to have an orgasm, they don't make it impossible. If that's the case, then all this knowledge will provide women is another obstacle to overcome on their way to achieving the orgasmic response they desire. We all know that when a woman is worried about her ability to orgasm, it can act as a self-fulfilling prophecy. She can become trapped in a vicious cycle where the more she worries, the harder it is for her to get aroused, which makes her worry even more. And ultimately the likelihood of having an orgasm slips further and further out of her reach.

Whether this study holds water or not, I want to ask you to disregard it. After all, your hair color is determined by your genes, but that doesn't mean you can't change it. You may be slightly shorter than most, but you can simply wear a taller heel. Our genes don't dictate our lives; we make adjustments. And you can do the same with regard to sex by using a vibrator, extra lubricant or even just some extra effort. Whatever you do, don't give up. Do whatever it takes to have a healthy and satisfying sex life.

***

After reading this article, I cannot say that I can confirm that your genes do or do not play a part with reaching orgasm because just like Dr. Ruth said....I am no scientist. I can only speak for myself. Many may say that because I have openly started that I have only had two sexual partners that I do not have enough experience in the world to say what I am about to. However I think reaching orgasm has a lot to do with:

*how confident you are with your body
* how emotionally connectioned you feel to your sexual partner
* your present mood during the initiation of sex
*and your sexual chemistry with your partner.

I believe all of the above has a lot to do with how fast you reach orgasm and how intense it gets. Emotional connection and sexual chemistry is very important. I experienced completely different things with the men I got invloved with. What do you guys think of the article? What have you experienced that you care to discuss?

Inner Peace

2005-07-27T16:03:00.000-04:00

Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

Celebrity Basketball After Party 7.23.05

2005-07-24T11:24:00.000-04:00

Celebrity Basketball After Party 7.23.05

It was Saturday night and I was suppose to go clubbing with Diva, but she cancelled "Again"....lol Any with the itch in my foot and Mayvelin wanting to hang out, we ended up at the After party for the celebrity basketball game. The party was ok.....not great.....

I dont know what it is but I been running all over the place this week. After this coming scheduled partyon Friday, it's time to take some time of from clubbing and go back to my movie, dinner, plays etc routine....lol

Mayvelin and I again

Again

Celebrity Basketball at Hofstra University 7.23.05

2005-07-24T09:46:00.000-04:00

Celebrity Basketball at Hofstra University 7.23.05

So I went to the Celebrity basketball game at Hofstra University and it was nice. I had never been to a live basketball game so it was an experience to remember. I got to take pictures of a few stars and one with Joe Buddens.

At the Celebrity Basket Ball Game on 7/23/05 at Hofstra University

With Joe Buddens

Just trying to be cute

Foxy Brown came through to the event to show some support.....

A few others was there such as DJ Envy, Miss Info (Hot 97) etc

Kids performing at half time for a prize.

Sitting on my car on my way home

again

Bowling w/ Sistah Circle Club 7.22.05

2005-07-23T04:29:00.000-04:00

Bowling w/ Sistah Circle Club 7.22.05

Well Friday came and went....It actually went pretty well considering all things.....

At the end of the day I went to BowlMar Lanes on 14th Union Square to bowl with the member of the Sistah Circle Book Club. It had been over a year since I have seen these women due to school. Never the less it was great. We spilt up into teams and of course my team won!!!!!!!! :)

But it just would not be a complete evening if I did not find something to talk about. I would like to know who the hell gave Monica Lewinsky celebrity status? I mean YES!!! she became known after her sexual relations with our first black Pres...Bill Clinton. But famous? hmmmm I beg to differ on that. Bowlmar lanes has pins signed by the rich and famous celebrities that have visited their establishment. People that made a name for themselves in a positive manner.... Monica Lewinksy.....Hell Nah!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

Dave Chapelle " I am Rick James Bitch" lol

My Pic with the bowling ball...lol

Book club photo

Dating again...Hits and Misses

2005-07-22T14:22:00.000-04:00

Dating again...Hits and Misses

So as everyone know, I recently started to date. See since the age of 14 I have always been in a relationship. At 27 I have had two serious relationships and two sexual partners. After being hurt by the man I wanted to marry, dating seemed like a great idea. A chance to see what is on the market.

Now that I am single again and dating I realized dam there are two sides to this coin a good side and a bad. Boy am I meeting crazy ones and but I am also meeting sweet hearts. I was speaking to my friend Omar the other night about my experiences, he personally thinks that my innocence and inexperience in this field is good for me. Usually I would sit and listen to one on my homies talk about some of her princes that turn into frogs but now I get to tell my story for a bit.

The thing I dont get is why men think that that second date needs to be in doors in either your and their apartment? I mean shit it's hot outside and soooo much stuff to do that's free why not get to know each other outside?

Well I want to talk about this guy I have known for a while in my neighborhood that I recently started affectionately referring to as the "stalker". I mean I gave this guy my number but I also said "I am not interested in a relationship" I just want to go out and enjoy my summer, enjoy life and see where that takes me. But as usual men think that they can always change your mind on everything. So I gave him my number said call me tomorrow after 6, he called that night after 9 PM. So ok he showed interest, not a bad thing. I told him I am busy as I mentioned I would be when I gave the number in the first place and to call me tomorrow. Rather than listen he proceeded to try and have a lengthy conversation....hello!!!! I said I was busy. But politely discontinued the conversation.

So the next day at 6 promptly he calls. I was like hmmmm.... Anyway we began to speak and get to know each other a bit. We were trying to set up times but I had already had previous plans on the days he was free. So I suggested the following Tuesday. Tuesday night came and he made the biggest mistake ever.......was an 1 hour late and didnt call until that time even though I called during that time to see whats up. Well I got a VM from him stating why, but at that point it was late and I was not leaving my house that late. So I would just call him the next day. THIS MAN CALLED MY PHONE 10 times in the space of one hour. OK!!!!!!!!!!! This is alarming, Why? Cause he aint my man and we just had a fight etc or something. He just got my number and blowing up my phone. So after the 10th call I sent him a text and said I will call you tomrrow, he proceeded to call another time. So this set off some alarms in my head. I thought he was loosing his marbles. Like call once and wait on a reply.

Anyway I gave him another chance, we spoke the next day and he apolgized and said he was sorry if he seemed crazed. The man started calling me baby, sweet heart I mean everything. It was a bit to close to comfort for me. Like I dont know you like that, we never hung out, kissed nothing....like take it down a notch already. Maybe I am just still old fashioned.........

So in speaking he wanted to meet that week, I was not available until the following week. Hey I am a busy woman with things to do an if I made previous dates I cant break them just cause right? He missed is turn....:) Do you all know that man whined and whined that I was not making time for him, he misses me etc. I was like what? Miss me? We have not gone out yet? what are you missing? Anyway I made plans for following week because I prefer earlier hang outs during the week. So I figured his early days would work best. Tell me why this man called me everyday trying to come to my house and as he saids it for just 5 minutes cause he "needs" to see me. Need is a stong word dont you think? If he cant come to me, I need to come to his house. Again the word need. I was like what the hell he might try to rape me or something. I became hesistant about going on the date made and I knew if I did go, we were going in my car so I know how I was getting home if anything strange happened.

So like I mentioned he calls everyday sometimes during work hours cause he needed to hear my voice.....alarming!!!!!!!!! He called me one night while I busy and I needed to call him back, apparently that made him mad. All communication with him has been cut since then. I mean is it that serious? We never dated before, or in a relationship......crazy.

But beside him, this dating thing seems to be cool and enjoyable when I go out with the sweet hearts.

Homosexuality.............my thoughts on Diva's Post

2005-07-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

So this morning I got an IM from my Homie DJ Diva about her post on homosexuality. I read her blog which by the way can be found (Here ). Here are my thoughts on her blog:

I think a lot of people are going to be mad at her, but she has the right to post her feelings After all that is why she has a blog right? As a Christian woman, I do agree that homosexuality is wrong and certain parts of the bible depicts that the behavior is wrong…….

Genesis 19 describes that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their homosexuality.

Judges 19 discusses the near extermination of the tribe of Benjamin because of their homosexual desires.

Romans 1:26-27 says that homosexuality -- both by men and women -- is unnatural and a perversion.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says that homosexual behavior is such a serious sin that anyone who commits it cannot enter heaven.

………but I have learned to live with it because I can’t change it. This behavior has been happening basically for ever. Past kings used sex with men as a privilege for just being a king. Whether someone chooses to be gay or is born gay, what ever they use as their reason for their life style is based on them. I have a really good friend that is openly gay and I love him to death. Do I agree with his life style no, do I think its right no, but I also know that I do not have the right to tell him how to live his life. Just like no one has the right to tell me how to live mine whether they agree with my choices or not because I am an adult. As much as I agree with the reverends views on homosexuals, I disagree with his approach on getting too explicit in church where kids can or may be present. I like the approach of Diva’s pastor.

As for men like Jonathan Plummer and Big Al. Well, well, well Jonathan needs to be severely punished in my book. Any man that knowingly deceives a woman that way needs to be paid back. I mean if you ass is gay, be f***king gay and leave innocent women out of it. You are putting her at risk for extra shit, as if we don’t have enough to worry about.

With “Big Al”, I can’t say much because Star Jones knows his lifestyle and chose to be with him. Key word being “chose”, so what ever comes out of that situation will be well deserved on her part.

Comes the Dawn

2005-07-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

Comes the Dawn

Well this is my first post for July, I did a few things but nothing that I took pictures of to speak about. However I came accross this poem, I dont know who wrote it but I think its something every woman should know............

Comes the Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
An you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises
And you begin to acept that your defeats with your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today;
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And the future have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So, you plant your own garden, and decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure....
That you are really STRONG and you really do have worth
And you learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn

NEO Fam Anniversary Party

2005-06-24T12:02:00.000-04:00

NEO Fam Anniversary Party

With my brother at NeoFam's Anniversary Party on June 24th 05

With my cousin Donna and Andrea

By myself

Getting Back in the Loop ( Songs I am feeling)

2005-06-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

Getting Back in the Loop (Songs I am feeling)

Well most of you guys know by now that Saturday June 18th 2005 was my graduation, however school official finished on April 19th 2005. Since then I have been trying to get back in the feel for things. Before then, I could tell you a dam thing about songs on the radio: But here are my favorites that I been catching up on:

1: We Belong Together by Mariah Carey.

2. Grind with me by Pretty Ricky

3. Touch by Omarion

4. 1 Thing by Amerie

Power

2005-06-24T10:42:00.000-04:00

Power

So I was chatting with my homie DJ Diva this morning and letting her know how good I feel. I woke up this morning feeling great, in a good mood that I have accomplished a lot of things in my life. I am a College Grad, Got a New Car, No Man stressing me out and good friends :) I feel great, happy, stress free.

I checked out her blog only to read this poem that she wrote. I use to write poems but stopped. I need to get back into the habit. I use to write them about my brown eyed lover boy Mark way back when he was my man. Now he is just of one of my good friends that listens to me cry and bitch when I have issues. I use to write them about my Ex Eddie when he use to be the center of my world but now he just an ex-factor as Lauren Hill so nicely put it in her song " I Use to Love Him".

But to all my lovely readers...written precise and to the point by my homie DJ Diva...here is the poem that describes how I feel:

My Power

I have the power
To make you feel total joy
In my hands and under my care
All of your fears I will destroy

You don’t understand me?
Need further proof?
Well, let me explain
And tell you what I can do

With me, you might have to exercise
And keep a close eye on your weight
Between my knowledge and thirst to please
You will eat the best food you ever ate

When you need to talk
And express your dreams
Away from you, I would never walk
Believing in you, my face would continuously beam

The burdens of this world
Rest heavily on your shoulders
I will ease your load
Because my optimism will move boulders

A best friend?
You’ll never have a better one than me
Tell me all your secrets
While nestled next to me

Your physical desires will be
The easiest for me to handle
Your wants are my needs
For you I am the everlasting candle (hot)

You will feel like a total man
Never to be ruled or controlled
All I ask is for Honesty, Respect and Love
And an occasional hand to hold

This may be a boast
And you may not comprehend
But my powers are mighty
And my talents have no end

The man that captures my attention
Is very lucky indeed
To have my focus attuned
To all of his special needs

I almost feel sorry
For those who failed to understand me
As I watch them struggle through life
Without the help of my abilities

For I was created as a helpmeet
And this fact has never left me
I will always support my man
and do it powerfully.

My New Car...My Baby

2005-06-22T13:27:00.000-04:00

My New Car...My Baby

well School is done and I went out and bought myself a new car as a present. I got tired of renting cars to take me to the places that I need to go. So Here it is. It's a 2005 Honda Civic....Its no Lexus but is mine and I love it

My Graduation June 18th 2005 (Jacon Javitz Center)

2005-06-18T11:26:00.000-04:00

My Graduation June 18th 2005 (Jacon Javitz Center)

JUNE 18th...Finally I get to walk accross that stage and enjoy what I have worked to hard so achieve. I thank God for the strength for all the times I thought about quitting when issues in my life became strefssful. I thank God for the courage and will power because with out him I would not have been able to do it. I also thank all thoses that stood by me...even down to the end.

Without my cap and gown

With my mom

With my mom and brother

My mom again

With Mayvelin and my brother

Of course it just would not be normal if my brother was not being is his crazy self :)

My Mom crying because she is soooo proud :)

Eddie came to my graduation. I guess it was a way of my just forgiving but never forgetting the drama and moving on. May peace with it us....lol.

With Mayvelin and Venol

With DeNelly

My Formal Grad Party

2005-06-17T11:20:00.000-04:00

Well Finally school is over and I have my life back. I am also getting over the hump of a crazy episode that I dont intend to get into. But hey thats life. Left without a date for my Formal Grad party one of my best friends decided to take me how nice of him.

At the Formal Grad Party with DeNelly and Venol.

Nothing Like Celebrating your graduation in style (June 17th and the Le Corden Blue)

My New Look

2005-06-11T13:14:00.000-04:00

My New Look

My new hair......Just thought I would show it off. I went out to the Steel Magnum's Friday nights at The Remote (June 10th 2005)

At Remote